Saturday, March 2, 2013

MONSTER-DONG 3000! - Ursula Hitler's Head ep. 134


A conversation with a sexy banner ad lady leads to Mr. Meany experimenting with a topical "male enhancement" product. Things go about as well as you'd expect. This is either our funniest episode so far, or our stupidest... It's definitely our naughtiest. Jesus, this one is some naughty business.

If you enjoy this cartoon, please favorite it, share it, and smack that Youtube like button upside the head.

NOW WITH TRANSCRIPT:

Mr. Meany: Hello again, folks. On today's show...

Banner Ad: Hey, honey.

Mr. Meany: Oh, Jesus. It's another one of these annoying Youtube banner ads. We already had an exterminator spray the place, but these damn things keep coming back.

Banner Ad: You look like a sexy, sophisticated, 34-55 year old gentleman in the prime of his demographic life!

Mr. Meany: Go away, sleazy banner ad lady. I'm far too clever to fall for your tricks.

Banner Ad: Are you lonesome tonight?

Mr. Meany: No... Well, maybe a little. I mean... Yes, very much so. Sweetie went out on another date with some nasty rocker boy in skinny jeans. What does he have that I don't, aside from a cool haircut, minty fresh breath and sex appeal?

Banner Ad: Well, maybe he's got a certain something extra. You know... down there. If you want to compete, you've got to have what a girl wants, and a whole lot of it.

Mr. Meany: Oh... Well, I've certainly got more than enough in that department.

Banner Ad: If you use Monster-Dong 3000, it'll give you a humongous raging boner.

(Meany considers. Cut to later on...)

Mr. Meany: OK, I applied your product directly to my... Well, you know. So, when will I see the results?

Banner Ad: Very soon. Expando Incorporated is not responsible for any allergic reactions, psychological trauma, destruction of personal property or loss of life resulting from the use of Monster-Dong 3000.

Mr. Meany: Hang on, loss of life?

Banner Ad: Monster-Dong 3000 may cause vomiting, jellied eyeballs, bazooka diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome, enraged bowel syndrome, psycho killer bowel syndrome, and purple nurples.

Mr. Meany: Oh, dear.

Banner Ad: Monster-Dong 3000 is a dangerously irresponsible product, made by terrible people to prey upon the personal insecurities of gullible losers. Monster-Dong 3000 should not be used under any circumstances. Exit, stage right.

(The banner ad leaps out of the scene. A black "censored" box suddenly appears over Meany's groin. The box continues to grow, quickly stretching out of the frame.)

Mr. Meany: Well, I don't see how this could get much more embarrassing.

(Scenes of the black "censored" box covering Mr. Meany's thingie, as it grows out of all control and causes havoc in the city.)

Mr. Meany: This is very, very not good. Oh, dear. Now it's coming back around. And it's doing loop-de-loops!

(Transition to an Xtranormal Newsreport.)

Brownie Piles: Brownie Piles here with the Xtranormal news. Today a balding, middle-aged local weirdo named Mr. Meany experimented with a sleazy topical male enhancement product, causing his wretched little dingle to expand to such monstrous proportions that it now threatens the entire city. Horrified witnesses describe Mr. Meany's raging boner as a tumescent nightmare from the depths of hell.

Mark Fardwarp: Having seen Mr Meany's raging boner, I now hate and fear all boners everywhere, including my own. So, I'm getting a sex change tomorrow.

Marcia Fardwarp: I'm his wife, and I'm totally okay with him cutting off his dingle. Actually, I'm a lesbian now. The sight of Mr. Meany's raging boner did that to me.

Brownie Piles: Authorities say that they are powerless to stop Mr. Meany's raging boner, because it's so gross that nobody wants to get near it.

(Cut to Sweetie and Mr. Meany at home. Meany's dong is still stretching out of the frame, covered by a black "censored" box.)

Mr. Meany: God damn every god damn thing to hell. Could you do me a favor, and please shoot me in the head immediately?

Sweetie: I think I've got a better idea. Here, have a look at this picture of Ann Coulter, the hateful Fox News she-demon.

(A picture of Coulter appears, and Meany's member instantly shrinks.)

Sweetie: That always does the trick.

Mr. Meany: It actually retracted so far into my abdomen that I think I have a vagina now. But in this series, I guess that's just par for the course.

Sweetie: I sure hope you learned your lesson. We should accept who we are. (She suddenly grows enormous boobs.) Dammit. Those Expando Incorporated jerks said that Boobs-a-Lot 3000 would give me tits 'til Tuesday, but these are more like Wednesday afternoon, at least.

A Different Banner Ad: Have you suffered grotesquely inflated sex parts as a result of using Expando Incorporated products? Attorney Larry H Hogsknuckle will fight for you!

Mr. Meany: Oh, god damn it.

12 comments:

oakleyses said...

longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet online sale, louboutin outlet, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton outlet stores, polo ralph lauren, burberry outlet, christian louboutin, air max, nike free, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co, prada handbags, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, coach factory outlet, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet, michael kors outlet, gucci outlet, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, chanel handbags, louboutin shoes, true religion jeans, kate spade outlet, louis vuitton handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet, coach purses, longchamp handbags, true religion jeans, prada outlet, tory burch outlet, longchamp outlet, kate spade handbags, louboutin, tiffany and co, coach outlet store online, air max, oakley sunglasses cheap, nike shoes, coach outlet

oakleyses said...

michael kors, hollister, oakley pas cher, air max pas cher, air max, nike tn, new balance pas cher, vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, nike trainers, ray ban sunglasses, air max, mulberry, louboutin, vans pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, ray ban pas cher, sac longchamp, sac guess, polo lacoste, michael kors pas cher, hollister, nike free pas cher, lululemon outlet online, air force, hollister, air jordan, nike huarache, nike free, sac burberry, hogan outlet, longchamp, converse pas cher, north face, true religion outlet, north face, sac louis vuitton, nike roshe run, louis vuitton uk, nike air max, timberland, sac louis vuitton, sac hermes, barbour, nike roshe, nike blazer, michael kors, ralph lauren, louis vuitton, longchamp, polo ralph lauren

oakleyses said...

moncler outlet, north face jackets, wedding dresses, beats by dre, abercrombie and fitch, asics running shoes, canada goose outlet, instyler, p90x, soccer jerseys, reebok outlet, jimmy choo outlet, lululemon outlet, vans shoes, ugg pas cher, rolex watches, nike roshe run, ugg boots clearance, nfl jerseys, bottega veneta, celine handbags, uggs, ugg australia, herve leger, mont blanc, canada goose uk, ugg, uggs outlet, mac cosmetics, ghd, canada goose, insanity workout, marc jacobs, canada goose, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, mcm handbags, north face outlet, moncler, chi flat iron, babyliss pro, canada goose jackets, canada goose, ugg boots, giuseppe zanotti, birkin bag, ugg boots, new balance shoes, soccer shoes

oakleyses said...

vans, moncler, hollister, pandora jewelry, timberland boots, hollister, ugg, air max, coach outlet store online, swarovski, iphone 6 cases, rolex watches, wedding dresses, links of london, converse, pandora charms, converse shoes, baseball bats, ralph lauren, lancel, toms shoes, moncler, oakley, pandora charms, moncler, thomas sabo, swarovski crystal, hollister clothing store, louis vuitton, canada goose, air max, moncler, juicy couture outlet, ugg, ray ban, canada goose, montre homme, juicy couture outlet, karen millen, gucci, parajumpers, louboutin, supra shoes, moncler

Wenhao Guo said...

oakley sunglasses outlet
gucci shoes
michael kors outlet, http://www.michaelkorsoutletcanada.in.net
custom mlb jerseys
abercrombie and fitch
nike air max uk
babyliss pro
true religion jeans
michael kors uk
coach outlet
marc jacobs
the north face outlet store
pandora jewelry
swarovski crystal
burberry outlet online
mont blanc
valentino outlet
michael kors outlet
air jordan shoes
asics running shoes
baltimore ravens jerseys
ferragamo shoes
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionoutletstore.us.com
foamposite gold
air force 1 shoes
ray ban sunglasses
cheap oakley sunglasses
toms shoes
lebron james shoes
lacoste polo shirts
celine outlet
ray ban sunglasses
herve leger
ray ban sunglasses
tods outlet
achang0820

mao qiuyun said...

soccer jerseys wholesale, http://www.soccerjerseys.us.com/
vans shoes, http://www.vans-shoes.cc/
nike running shoes, http://www.nikefreerunning.org/
ugg uk, http://www.cheapuggboots.me.uk/
washington redskins jerseys, http://www.washingtonredskinsjersey.com/
chanel handbags outlet, http://www.chanelhandbags-outlet.us.com/
michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbagsoutletstore.us.com/
ugg boots clearance,ugg australia,uggs on sale,ugg slippers,uggs boots,uggs outlet,ugg boots,ugg,uggs
nike air huarache, http://www.nikeairhuarache.org.uk/
christian louboutin online, http://www.christianlouboutinonline.us.com/
nike free, http://www.nikefree5.us/
coach outlet online, http://www.coachoutletstores.com.co/
stuart weitzman boots, http://www.stuartweitzmanoutlet.us/
michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbags.in.net/
air force 1 shoes, http://www.airforce1.us.com/
new england patriots jerseys, http://www.newenglandpatriotsjerseys.us/
links of london uk, http://www.linksoflondons.co.uk/
miami dolphins jerseys, http://www.miamidolphinsjersey.com/
ralph lauren outlet, http://www.ralphlaurenoutletuk.org.uk/
oakley sunglasses outlet, http://www.oakleysunglassesoutlets.us.com/
ysl outlet, http://www.ysloutletonline.com/
tods shoes, http://www.todsshoes.us.com/
chanel handbags, http://www.chanelhandbags-outlet.co.uk/
wedding dresses uk, http://www.weddingdressesoutlet.co.uk/
michael kors outlet, http://www.michaelkorsoutlet-store.us.com/
giants jersey, http://www.newyorkgiants.us/
michael kors outlet, http://michaelkors.outletonlinestores.us.com/
iphone 6 cases, http://www.iphonecase.name/
0914maoqiuyun

Junda Xu said...

20151019 junda
michael kors
coach canada
true religion outlet
ugg australia
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet online
coach factory outlet online
Michael Kors Outlet Real Handbags Online
Louis Vuitton Luxury Official Website
louis vuitton
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
Louis Vuitton Outlet USA
Buy Kobe Shoes Online Discount
Abercrombie T-Shirts
michael kors outlet
Mont Blanc Legend And Mountain Pen Discount
Coach Outlet Store Online Handbags Clearance
Ugg Boots,Ugg Boots Outlet,Ugg Outlet,Cheap Uggs,Uggs On Sale,Ugg Boots Clearance,Uggs For Women
ugg boots sale
coach outlet
Louis Vuitton Handbags Factory Store
ugg boots australia
cheap jordan shoes
Ralph Lauren Outlet Clothing
canada goose outlet online
true religion jeans
ray ban sunglasses
Hollister Clothes for Girls Website
michael kors outlet

Pnane Weg said...

http://www.michaelkorsoutletstore.name
http://www.uggbootsclearance.net.co
http://www.dior--outlet.com
http://www.cheap-jordans-shoes.org
http://www.airjordan-14.us
http://www.clarksshoesoutlet-sale.com
http://www.guccioutlet--online.com
http://www.fitflopsandalsforwomen.com
http://www.uggbootssale70off.org
http://www.joesnewbalance-outlet.com
http://www.cheapcoachpursesoutletwebsite.com
http://www.abercrombieandfitchoutletus.com
http://burberryscarfsale.usaoutletofficial.com
http://www.coachtotebags-sale.com
http://www.timberlandshoes-outlet.com
http://www.fendi--outlet.com
http://www.nikeclearance-store.com
http://www.diorhandbagsoutletstore.com
http://www.coach-outlet.eu.com
http://www.cheap-canadagoose-sale.com
http://www.hollister--outlet.com
http://www.mbt--shoes.com
http://www.cheapjordanshoes-11-6-3.com
http://www.cheap-nikeshoes-clearance.com
http://www.newbalance-outlet.us.com
http://www.fendihandbags-outlet.com
http://www.vansshoesoutlet-store.com
http://www.michael--kors-outlet.net
http://www.pradashoes-outlet.com
http://www.fitflopshoesforwomen.com
http://www.fitflopsclearanceonsale.com
http://www.airjordan-retro6.com
http://www.70offuggbootsonsale.com
http://www.prada--outlet.com
http://www.fakejordanoutlet.com
http://www.cheapsalomonshoesoutlet.com
http://www.wholesale-newjordansshoes.com
http://www.northfaceoutlet.net.co
http://www.fitflopoutletonline-inc.com
qwe12.10

oakleyses said...

christian louboutin, uggs on sale, longchamp outlet, air max, gucci handbags, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses wholesale, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, michael kors pas cher, christian louboutin uk, ugg boots, polo outlet, nike free, nike outlet, tiffany and co, polo ralph lauren outlet online, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin outlet, prada handbags, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, sac longchamp pas cher, louboutin pas cher, nike air max, prada outlet, ray ban sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, nike free run, replica watches, chanel handbags, louis vuitton, replica watches, kate spade outlet, jordan shoes, longchamp pas cher, jordan pas cher, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, nike roshe

oakleyses said...

coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, oakley pas cher, michael kors outlet online, new balance, true religion outlet, nike air max uk, burberry outlet, ralph lauren uk, ray ban uk, north face uk, replica handbags, michael kors, timberland pas cher, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, uggs outlet, nike air force, hollister uk, michael kors outlet, sac vanessa bruno, hogan outlet, nike roshe run uk, uggs outlet, sac hermes, michael kors, mulberry uk, north face, nike tn, nike air max uk, hollister pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, converse pas cher, true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, kate spade, lululemon canada, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, polo lacoste, nike free uk, vans pas cher

oakleyses said...

iphone cases, hermes belt, mac cosmetics, mcm handbags, giuseppe zanotti outlet, oakley, instyler, lululemon, reebok outlet, wedding dresses, converse, baseball bats, hollister clothing, new balance shoes, soccer shoes, vans outlet, valentino shoes, babyliss, abercrombie and fitch, jimmy choo outlet, asics running shoes, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, nfl jerseys, nike air max, nike roshe run, herve leger, mont blanc pens, north face outlet, beats by dre, timberland boots, converse outlet, louboutin, longchamp uk, vans, insanity workout, nike huaraches, ferragamo shoes, gucci, nike trainers uk, p90x workout, ray ban, ghd hair, celine handbags, hollister, hollister, north face outlet, nike air max, ralph lauren, chi flat iron

oakleyses said...

moncler, pandora jewelry, replica watches, canada goose, hollister, pandora uk, moncler outlet, canada goose uk, barbour, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, lancel, canada goose, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour uk, swarovski, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, montre pas cher, juicy couture outlet, doudoune moncler, ugg, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, moncler, karen millen uk, moncler uk, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, moncler outlet, links of london, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, wedding dresses, supra shoes, marc jacobs, swarovski crystal, canada goose jackets, ugg uk, canada goose, pandora jewelry, ugg pas cher, pandora charms