Saturday, June 15, 2013
BODY SHOPPING - Ursula Hitler's Head, episode 141
Mr. Meany is once again trying to hack into Xtranormal and give himself a healthy, gorgeous young bod. Well, I think we all know where this is going. Poor bastard never learns, does he?
Hope you folks enjoy this one, because the special effects were a bitch and a half. If you DID enjoy this episode, maybe you should click around in the archives. We got like a million other crazy fetish cartoons in there, just waiting for you. And please don't forget to give that Youtube like button a tap. Seriously, those special effects were a freaking nightmare. The least you can do is tap a goddamn like button. I mean, come on. Jesus.
NOW WITH TRANSCRIPT!:
Sweetie: Welcome back to the show, folks. I am Sweetie, and on today's show...
(Dramatic chord as we pull out to see that Mr. Meany has no body and is just a floating head.)
Sweetie: Oh, Jesus.
Mr. Meany: Hello, folks.
Sweetie: Meany, I don't know if you've noticed, but you've lost a lot of weight recently... specifically, everything from the neck down.
Mr. Meany: Yes. I was experimenting with Xtranormal's programming again, trying to give myself a strong, virile young body. Well, unfortunately there were a few complications.
Sweetie: There's a big surprise.
Mr. Meany: I think I finally have it figured out. (He turns to face the camera.) Computer, do a system-wide search for a really cool, sexy dude character model, and then give me that body.
(Suddenly he turns into a young hipster from the neck down, wearing a skull t-shirt.)
Mr. Meany: How do you like this one? I'm a sassy hipster boy now. I think I've even got an ironic tattoo on my left buttock.
Sweetie: Please, just go back to being yourself.
Mr. Meany: Well, how about this? Computer, give me the body of an athletic fellow. Something sporty and supple.
(His hipster body turns into a jock body wearing a sports jersey.)
Mr. Meany: This one's nice. Much better than my busted-up old man body.
Sweetie: I think your busted-up old man body is fine the way it is. It fits who you are.
Mr. Meany: But I don't want to be who I am! I want to be everything I'm not, the exact opposite of me.
Sweetie: I really don't think you should keep tinkering with your programming like this. Something always goes wrong.
Mr. Meany: Look, everybody knows you girls have no sense of adventure and you're no good at computer stuff. So just relax, and leave the science to us men-folk.
(Sweetie glowers at him.)
Mr. Meany: Okay computer, give me a body with abs of steel. A real sex machine!
(He turns into a robot from the neck down.)
Sweetie: Seriously, how did you not see that one coming?
Mr. Meany: Come on computer, don't be so retarded. What I meant was, give me the hottest, most super-sexiest body you've got!
(Suddenly Meany has a very sexy, very female body with very, very big boobs. Meany's new body is so buxom that we even hear cartoon boing noises and an old-fashioned wolf-whistle.)
Mr. Meany: Oh, dear. Apparently the computer likes cheap floozies with big, bouncy bazongas.
Sweetie: Well, who doesn't?
Mr. Meany: Listen, Computer...
Sweetie (interrupting): Computer, lock his character model and password protect all changes!
Mr. Meany: What the crap? Sweetie, why did you do that? Now I'm stuck with these bodacious ta-tas!
Sweetie: Sorry, but our viewership has been down lately... and I bet your gigantic, jiggly jugs are just what we need to boost our ratings.
Mr. Meany: Now listen, Sweetie, this isn't funny. Turn me back into a man. My cleavage is so deep, looking down into it is giving me vertigo!
Sweetie: Come on, Boom-Boom, there's a sale on push-up bras down at Bob's Big and Busty Boutique.
Mr. Meany: Damn it. I should have quit while I was ahead.
(Editor's note: Get it? "A head." Yeah.)
Posted by Ursula Hitler at Saturday, June 15, 2013