Sunday, October 14, 2012

And so I face the final curtain...

In recent months I've become increasingly frustrated with my dwindled viewership, and I went into this epic rock opera thing with a sort of make it or break it attitude. I was going to bust my ass making these episodes as good as I could, and if my viewership didn't pick up at least a little, that'd mean it really was time to give it up.

Well, I didn't expect my viewership to drop even more, but that's exactly what happened. I haven't seen numbers this crappy since I first started doing these cartoons, way back in January of 2009. The few comments I've gotten have either been supportive but brief, or more lengthy complaints about how the storyline has somehow become simultaneously predictable and chaotic. (These comments have usually come from people with a pretty shaky grasp of the English language, which just makes the situation more confusing. I'm not a grammar snob, but it's hard to know what to make of a long, considered critique from somebody who can't spell "cartoon.")

I'm truly my own worst critic, half the time I hate everything about myself. But honestly, I feel like the last few months of this cartoon have been relatively solid. I've tried changing things, I've tried more one-off episodes, I've tried making episodes funnier, I've tried making episodes more fetishy... And whatever boost I get is small and temporary. Nobody. Gives. A. Crap.

So. Unless the series experiences some kind of sudden and unlikely viewership turnaround, we're probably closing in on the end. I am going to finish the Glampire thing, and then I think I'll probably do the final storyline I've been thinking of for a while. I've been reluctant to do it because (no spoilers!) the ending I've had in mind is pretty final, there's no resurrecting the series if I change my mind later. But it's the ending I've been planning since the beginning, and I know in my heart that it's the only ending this thing could have.

I really don't want to end the series now, but at this point the only reason I have to keep making these cartoons is because I want to, and that is just not enough. Past a certain point, a hobby just becomes an unhealthy addiction. I never thought these cartoons would make me rich, but the lack of interest is actually making me feel poorer, it's a real drain. I feel like I'm writing sonnets for an unrequited crush.

Thanks (a lot) to 30 or so actual fans out there, and to everybody else... Well, this is what I had to offer, folks. Sorry you didn't like it more, but it was the way it was because that was the only way it could be.

8 comments:

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